For English press 1 - Para español presione 2

sábado, enero 31, 2009

Snowboarding for Dummies

Ayer muy por la tarde agarramos camino hacia Shawnee on Delaware, una pequeña población en el estado de Pennsylvania, donde se encuentra Shawnee Mountain, una de las varias montañas que en esta epoca de invierno funcionan como pistas de ski y snowboarding.

Yo nunca había alguno de estos deportes, pero siempre había tenido la espinita por intentarlo. Después de una hora y pico de viaje llegamos al sitio alrededor de las 5 y pico de la tarde, nevo fuertemente por unos cuantos minutos, pero no importaba si al fin de cuentas de eso se trataba.

El sitio estaba repleto de gente, es una atracción bastante popular en está epoca del año.

Una vez en Shawnee Mountain, pase a la alquilada de las botas y del snowboard. Una vez con las botas puestas, me despido de la gente y humildemente me voy a mi lección # 1 “Snowboarding for dummies”.
El instructor un chileno que viene 3 meses durante el invierno a enseñar dummies como yo y asi es la lección.
  • Identifique cual es su pie de reacción ya que ese va a ser el pie en control de la tabla.
  • Aprenda como enganchar su pie de reacción en la tabla.
  • Dese cuenta que el coeficiente de fricción estatica es zero y que a la menor fuerza ejercida la tabla le demostrara cualquiera de las leyes de Newton.
  • Su pie de reacción ahora mide 1.50 m y no lo pued apoyar, porque al menor esfuerzo se desliza y corre el riesgo de abrirse de patas.
  • Ahora aprenda como caminar, mueva el pie que tiene libre y arrastre la tabla, mueva el pie que tiene libre y arrastre la tabla, mueva el pie que tiene libre y arrastre la tabla, mueva el pie que tiene libre y arrastre la tabla.
  • Su pie está hacienda un moviemiento y un ejercicio al cual no está acostumbrado por lo cual le empieza a doler de lo más sabroso.
  • Parese derecho ponga el otro pie sobre la tabla y deslicese . . . . . . eeeehhhhhhh !!!
  • Vuelva otra vez al punto de inicio mueva el pie que tiene libre y arrastre la tabla . . . . . .
  • Descanse el pie que ahora le duele mas, pero cuidado, no lo levante porque si lo hace queda a merced de la tabla . . . a propósito mencione que el coeficiente de fricción estatica es zero??????
  • Deslicese nuevamente . . . . . . eeeehhhhhhh !!!
  • Vuelva otra vez al punto de inicio mueva el pie que tiene libre y arrastre la tabla . . . . . .
  • Esta vez aprenda a darle dirección a la tabla con los dedos de los pies . . . . . . eeeehhhhhhh !!!
  • Arregleselas para parar . . . . . CATAPLUN . . . . OUCH !!!
  • Repita los 3 pasos anteriores.
  • Ahora aprenda como darle direccion con los talones . . . . . . eeeehhhhhhh !!!
  • Repita nuevamente.
Es hora de subir a la cima de la colina de entrenamiento, para lo cual nos deslizamos con cuidado hacia la fila del elevador (o como quiera que se llamen las sillitas esas que lo llevan a uno a la punta de la colina).
  • Montese con la tabla . . . . la tabla debe estar enganchada en su pie.
  • Preparese psicologicamente para bajarse cuando llegue a la cima.
  • Listo ???? 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . . CATAPLUN . . . . PLUN . . . . PLUN . . . . PLUN . . . .OUCH !!!
  • Agarre la mano y dese cuenta que puede moverla y que aunque duele como un putas sabe que no esta rota.
  • Dese cuenta que el elevador esta detenido porque usted esta en tumbado en la mitad de la bajada.
  • Montese en la tabla y deslicese . . . intente parar . . . intente parar . . . intente parar CATAPLUN . . . . OUCH !!! . . . . la mano otra vez !!!
  • Esta vez enganche ambos pies a la tabla.
  • Ahora aprenda a bajar frenando con el borde de la tabla mirando hacia abajo o dandole la espalda a la pendiente.
  • Agarrese de las manos de su instructor y dese cuenta que al menor descuido usted se va a ir de jeta colina abajo.
  • Su instructor le dice muy bien, asi se hace, siga, siga, siga, mientras usted esta cagadisimo del susto y aun pensando que donde este man lo suelte usted va colina abajo y muy seguramente llegara a la autopista I-80.
  • Siga intentando, trate de perder el miedo . . .
  • Cada vez que lo intenta la sensación de irse colina abajo montado en una tabla y zero fricción lo embarga y no puede despegar las manos del suelo.
  • Como pueda llegue abajo y como pueda desenganchese de la tabla.
  • Levantese y dele gracias a Dios que esta completico, decida que ha sido suficiente por hoy y devuelva la tabla y las botas, vaya comprese algo de comer y de beber.
  • Sóbese porque no hay pómada !!!!
Debo admitirlo, esto del snowboarding se ve muy bonito y muy facil en la televisión, pero en la vida real es muy jodido.

Bastante gente me ha dicho que se requieren bastantes horas de practica para aprender snowboarding, la verdad no se si me queden ganas suficientes de volverlo a intentar.

Por el momento aplicaré el viejo y conocido refran: quietico se ve más bonito !!!!

55 comentarios:

Mafe dijo...

Sólo tengo 3 cosas que decir:

1. Been there, done that... se me torció una pata y se me cuasi fracturó una muñeca. Y eso que yo no pasé de la pista de niños (pendiente 0)

2. Pobrecito mi pedazo de Mono... de casualidad tienes un video, fotos, o cualquier recuerdito que pueda hacer del post algo más chis--- burlab--- entretenido de lo que actualmente es??
Lo digo UNICAMENTE por razones audiovisuales.

3. Si te has dado cuenta que este post, el de Alexillo del Servicio Militar y el mío de la alfombra están escritos de la misma manera?? aaaahhhh????

N.Santamaría dijo...

Aaaah, es que que dijo? papitas para el loro?

gerente dijo...

AUCH!!! me duele solo de leerlo, al menos no se quemó la naríz contra la nieve ni se golpeo con la tabla esa

Tala dijo...

En defensa del snowboarding debo decir que si, todos nos damos muuuuy duro la 1a vez, en ese deporte no hay naturales, pero una vez lo coges es muy divertido, cuando menos lo piensas ya te has comprado todos los juguetes y hasta el season pass. Eso si, no te garantizo que aprendas a bajarte del chair lift en mucho tiempo.

(Notese que escribo con dolor de brazos habiendomelas dado de dare devil y bajado (rodado) por una montaña llena de moguls)

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Por eso yo prefieron esquiar .. mejor controlar esa vaina con ambas patas y no solamente con una tabla amarrada a usted..

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In 1959 phentermine first received approval from the FDA as an appetite suppressing drug. Phentermine hydrochloride then became available in the early 1970s. It was previously sold as Fastin from King Pharmaceuticals for SmithKline Beecham, however in 1998 it was removed from the market. Medeva Pharmaceuticals sells the name brand of phentermine called Ionamin and Gate Pharmaceuticals sells it as Adipex-P. Phentermine is also currently sold as a generic. Since the drug was approved in 1959 there have been almost no clinical studies performed. The most recent study was in 1990 which combined phentermine with fenfluramine or dexfenfluramine and became known as Fen-Phen.[citation needed]
In 1997 after 24 cases of heart valve disease in Fen-Phen users, fenfluramine and dexfenfluramine were voluntarily taken off the market at the request of the FDA. Studies later proved that nearly 30% of people taking fenfluramine or dexfenfluramine had abnormal valve findings. The FDA did not ask manufacturers to remove phentermine from the market.
[url=http://www.buyphentermine1.com]phentermine online[/url] Phentermine is still available by itself in most countries, including the U.S. However, because it is similar to amphetamines, it is classified as a controlled substance in many countries (including Australia). Internationally, phentermine is a schedule IV drug under the Convention on Psychotropic Substances.[1] In the United States, it is classified as a Schedule IV controlled substance under the Controlled Substances Act.
Looking forward, Phentermine is being studied with another medication for obesity. The experimental appetite suppressant drug Qnexa is a mixture of Phentermine and Topiramate.
Phentermine, in doses clinically used, works on the hypothalamus portion of the brain to release norepinephrine, a neurotransmitter or chemical messenger that signals a fight-or-flight response, reducing hunger. Phentermine works outside the brain as well to release epinephrine or adrenaline causing fat cells to break down stored fat, but the principal basis of efficacy is hunger-reduction. At high doses, phentermine releases serotonin and dopamine as well, but such doses are never used in clinical medicine.
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After a 7 year hiatus due to World War II the return of the competition coincided with Matt Busby taking the reins at Manchester United and building a team forever immortalised as the “Busby Babes”.

The Euro Cup, also known as the UEFA Cup or the CE3, is the second most prestigious of the football competition hosted by the Union of European Football Associations (UEFA). [url=http://www.taobet.com]football betting[/url] The first international football competitions in Europe were hosted by Austro-Hungarian Empire in the late 1890’s. This early competition, called the Challenge Cup, was designed to give clubs who would, in normal league competitions, never play one another an opportunity to compete on a level playing field. After the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Empire the competition was reorganized as the Mitropa Cup. This was during the early days of professional European football clubs, and the pan-European Mitropa Cup was meant to provide a forum which would give these newly founded clubs much needed exposure and financial support.

The Cup underwent a series of other changes in the years following England’s readmission in 1991, as the competition was combined with the UEFA Winners Cup and other qualification rules were changed. The establishment of the EU also drastically affected the teams qualifying for the cup, as this restructuring changed the rules regarding player’s foreign/European status.

Currently, monies generated from television deals were paid to and distributed by the Football League, so clubs who weren’t regularly appearing on television were benefiting from the clubs who were.

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